For so many of my years on this planet I felt so much power...
Lightning strikes marking my decisions.
And things were good...under the tightest grip of my will.
Over the last year I was forced to loosen my grip - and my sandcastle cities crashed down. Years of perfection washed away in weeks.
Luckily love heals control freaks too :)
A very special man came into my life and reminded me that I am loved. Even in my most imperfect and ugliest moments. I'm Loved.
Love.
But...
It's easy to be scared. It's easy to be hopeless. You want a real work out? Put down the free weights and try to find joy every day. No matter what your boss or co-workers say. No matter how many creditors call...how many hospital visits you make...find smiles. Choose to be happy.
Don't let worry win.
I woke up as a single parent, renting a tiny duplex, with a teenage son who is becoming the man he was always meant to be...imperfectly wonderful BUT nothing like my life was supposed to be.
Cause guess what? I'm not driving this train...I am right here in the middle of the world getting married and I haven't been on a date in years.
I am happy and content and acutely lonely...ahhhhhhh so much joy and so much yuck.
Welcome to 2015 my friends, my love and my lurkers...
Do you want to hear the hopeful joyful sadness of this moment? My favorite song of the day:
It's time that you won...
