and then...

When I first moved back to Tallahassee from the great Southwest I had this crazy phobia of a tree falling on my house. I think the decade of living in the high desert made the deep South feel a bit claustrophobic with all its live oaks and pines towering above me. And within the first year of moving back - not once - not twice - but THRICE did fifty year old trees crash into my yard. Each time was terrifying and led to a frantic call to my landlord begging him to send an arborist to root out any murderous evergreens lurking in my yard. Hurricane force winds pummeled through town regularly - and each creak or bump in the night sent me into panic.

Once, while working at my computer desk, I heard a deafening SLAM! It sounded like an enormous sword slashing into a shield! This was a bright and sunny day though, and when I looked outside I didn't see a fallen limb on the ground...so I climbed up on the roof and saw a small hole. The hole was about 5 inches wide and was directly above where I had been sitting. I peered into the hole and at first couldn't see anything. I wondered if a meteor had hit my house! I climbed down from the roof and entered the attic. Embedded in the support beams, inches from piercing the ceiling, was a 4 foot branch bigger in diameter than my thigh. It had snapped off from a tree and hurled itself like a javelin towards my head!

It was at that point that the tree fear turned into a phobia.

I was so scared.

The next horrible hurricane came through town a few weeks later. I sat awake fretful and trying my best to stop catastrophic scenarios from playing in my head. Even the vision of my sleeping 2 year old couldn't settle my mind. So I decided to pray.

I prayed to not let a tree fall on my house...or my car...or my head...or my kid's head. And then I thought maybe that was too much to ask. I mean, I hadn't prayed since I had been a kid and maybe you can't just start off praying for big stuff after such a long absence. So I thought it might be better to start off smaller...maybe a question.

"Hey God...um...could you tell me if I die by a tree falling on me? I mean...am I wasting my time worrying about this? Or should I cut down all my trees?"



OK too much again...one question. To the point.

"Hey God, will a tree ever fall on my house"

And in my head...I swear I heard a "No"

Wow! Had that just happened? Seriously? And my first thought? The very first thing that popped into my head??!?!

"Oh great...so it's cancer isn't it? Is that what kills me? Car accident? Rabid raccoon? TELL MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"