It isn't really that I have insomnia.....
for some reason (these days) I just don't like to sleep.
Maybe it is hormones? Most of my semi-adult life I have felt like a passenger riding the river of hormones. Sometimes enjoying the rapids, other times colliding against the rocks...begging for shade on a sunny day or straining for starlight at dusk.
I miss having my sweet baby laying next to me....dreaming of lizards and dragons
but I miss the gentle breathing of my girlfriend even more.
So I sit awake and play games, tidy the house, enjoy being quiet. Nighttime me is a big planner too! Making lists and organizing my calendar...not realizing that daytime me doesn't really pay attention to those things!
In the night I am a perfect mom, wonderful friend and on time for all my appointments. My girlfriend is never disappointed in me and I contently browse for delicious recipes that may or may not find their way into my oven.
I think I love the night because there are no expectations, no pressures, no phone calls and nothing I "should be doing".
Tomorrow I will figure out how to pull this evening optimism out of the dark.....if I don't sleep half the day away that is ;)
