What makes me happy on a day like today is the countless buds on my azalea bushes outside of my house.
Also, I had an amazing bike ride through the wilds of Tom Brown park this morning.
I can grab a hold of these things and keep my day bright even as the clouds come in - and I wonder when the rain is coming down.
Aren't I poetic?
About a month ago a man contacted me on Facebook. An old childhood "friend" who wanted to reconnect. This guy lived on our block and was about 5 years my senior. He was the neighborhood bully, always prowling around looking for trouble. Many times that trouble he found was me. From the time I was about 8 years old until I was 12 he picked on me, teased me, punched me, and many other things too horrible to write about. Things I don't talk to anyone about. Ever.
Once I remember having a really scraped up knee, not sure how it happened. But that damn guy would hold me down and punch the scab until it feel apart - and would leave my knee streaming blood and hurting like hell. He did this over and over and over until I guess the game got old. I still have a scar.
My parents never seemed to notice me coming home with ripped clothes, missing shoes and bloodied.
Why in the hell this balding fat assed redneck would try to "reconnect" is incomprehensible. Most likely I would imagine he doesn't even think about what happened. And despite all my revenge fantasies I decided to just block him, ignore him, and remove any one of my Macon friends that had him as a facebook friend.
Just seeing his aged face again and reading his idiotic words was horrifying. No matter how much therapy you get...well some memories are just too shitty for words. And the world is tough enough without a giant asshole-sexually-predatory bully forcing neuroses into a little girl's soul.
But today I am not that little girl - and that old man who contacted me can't hurt me. I have my azalea bushes and a bottle of beer and some great friends. And I am going to find an amazing hug any minute now...
